


into the unknown

by ZeGabz



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Some People Live, i already wrote a canon compliant fic and it crushed my soul so here is my therapeutic word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 15:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8997211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeGabz/pseuds/ZeGabz
Summary: She doesn't know when her fascination turned to trust, probably somewhere between "You're in shock" and "Welcome home." But she knows that she does trust him implicitly, more than anyone before. Their experience on Scarif was just that: theirs. No one else understands. No one else cares to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. So after I wrote "ghost stories," I realized that while the canon ending was PERFECT, I wanted to see what they would do with more time.
> 
> So, well, ALL ABOARD THE JYN/CASSIAN PAIN TRAIN!

They should be dead.

Jyn holds Cassian close, pressing a torn fragment of her shirt against the blaster wound in his side. "Stay awake, stay with me," she whispers desperately, pressing her forehead against his and willing some of what energy she has left into him. He smiles.

"Till the end."

"No," she growls fiercely, hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "This is _not_ the end." Cassian's hand comes up shakily, caressing her cheek with a tenderness that kills her.

"I'm in the Alliance channels," Bodhi announces from the cockpit. "There's a firefight up above. We should jump to hyperspace. Immediately."

"Plot coordinates for Yavin IV," Jyn says, eyes still on Cassian. "He needs help."

"Yes, ma'am." Jyn looks down at Cassian and pulls his face to hers, pressing a bruising kiss to his lips. He doesn't have time to respond before she pulls back, staring at her with wide eyes as if he's looking into a sun.

"What was that for?" he rasps.

"Stay alive, and I'll tell you," Jyn promises. She hopes that's enough as his eyes flutter shut.

* * *

 

The med droids kick her out of Cassian's room, and it takes a direct threat from a very haggard-looking Mon Mothma to get her to cease attempting to break into his room. Days pass, and she talks to nobody.

When they were last on Yavin IV, she had Chirruit and Baze to keep her company for the brief moments Cassian spent being debriefed, and the rest of her time was spent with him. In a tense, angry silence, yes, but he hadn't left her side, keeping a wary and concerned eye on her at all times. He was there for her against her will, in spite of the fact that it was his actions that hurt the most.

Now, Baze and Chirrut are both dead. Bodhi is neck-deep in work and training, too busy trying to forget what he saw to worry about her. And Cassian is on the brink of death.

She had been so sure they were going to die on that beach, that the last thing she would feel in this life would be Cassian's arms holding her close in tragic desperation.

 _Time_ , she had wished for, _I want time with him_. Time with the cause.

And time had been granted to her.

But it seems like a sick joke that she might have to fight on without him.

She wanders around the base, ignoring the awed looks and whispers from the pilots and scouts around her. She's no hero. _Cassian_ is a hero.

She sits down in the mess hall in a secluded corner, picking at soup aimlessly. It tastes awful, but she remembers her father's words to her as a young child: "Never waste good, little stardust."

There's a shuffling sound as someone sits across from her. Jyn doesn't look up, and continues stirring the soup around.

"I'm not going to treat you with kid gloves," the person across from her says. Jyn looks up in surprise, and takes in the green Twi'lek in front of her. She's older, with battle-hardened eyes and flight goggles strapped to her head. She wears the uniform of a general, but has the face of a soldier.

"Who are you?" Jyn asks, not bothering to sound polite or remotely interested in conversation. The Twi'lek is unfazed.

"General Hera Syndulla, Alliance High Command," she says. "I just wanted to keep you in the loop about everything, since you've missed the past three personnel briefings." Her head tilts ever so slightly, as if she's chastising her.

"I've been busy," Jyn mutters, a little defiant, a little defeated.

"Worrying about your partner." Syndulla smiles wryly. "I know the feeling."

Jyn huffs something like a laugh. "Yeah. Well. What did you need to tell me?"

Syndulla purses her lips. "What do you know about the Death Star plans? After you beamed them to the Alliance."

Jyn's hands still. "I know we got them to the Alliance, and that my friends died to do it." Syndulla's frown deepens into a full grimace.

"The plans were taken on the Tantive IV. Leia Organa was onboard. But the plans were intercepted by a Star Destroyer, and the Princess was captured. And the Empire…used the Death Star. Alderaan is gone."

Jyn's breath seems to rush out of her lungs. "And the plans?" she chokes out.

"Missing." Syndulla reaches forward, resting a soft green hand over Jyn's.

Jyn walks away without another word.

* * *

She doesn't think, going straight to Cassian's room in the medbay. He's awake (and she'll kill whoever kept her from being there when he woe up) and gives her an exhausted smile of greeting. For a moment, her grief and frustration melts away.

"Did they finally let you in?" he asks, struggling to sit up. Jyn's eyes course over his body, examining. "Broken ribs," he says, answering her unspoken question, "And a punctured lung. I really shouldn't be alive right now."

"Mothma threatened to put me on a ship and have them space me from the airlock if I kept getting in the doctors' way," she says quietly, sitting down at his bedside. "I thought we were dead."

"Me too," Cassian says. "But I'm glad we're not." Jyn almost smiles.

"Same here." Cassian's eyes study her, perceptive as always.

"You've been crying."

Jyn blinks. "I have not." Cassian gives her a significant look, so fond and concerned that she almost cries again right there. "The plans are lost. Nobody knows where they are. They died for nothing." It's a good minute before he can respond. His hands ball into fists at his side.

"They died fighting for what they believed in," Cassian says softly. "That is not nothing." His words do little to comfort her. She failed her father. She didn't save Alderaan in time. Cassian shifts closer to her. "Hey. Jyn, look at me."

She looks up, and he reaches for her, his palm coming to rest against her cheek. She leans into the touch, relishing in the warmth of his bruised hand. She closes her eyes and her own hand wraps around his wrist until she can feel his pulse. _Thump. Thump. Thump._

"We're alive," he whispers. She remembers the burn of his lips against hers, and smiles.

So, she nods, focusing on his heartbeat. "We're alive."

* * *

 She meets Luke Skywalker the day before they leave Yavin IV. She had been there for the medal ceremony for him and the smuggler, but she had never talked to the farmboy who is now the face of the Alliance. The one who destroyed the Death Star.

Leia Organa offered to give Rogue One medals as well, but Jyn declined. She's not a hero. She's just the cavalry. Her mission speaks for itself. She doesn't want praise. Not when Chirrut and Baze are dead. Not when Bodhi is shaking at the prospect of setting foot on another cargo ship. Not when K2SO is a pile of ashes.

She's prepping to go on the last of the base, but wants to find Cassian before he takes off in his X-Wing. To say goodbye, or something. Maybe just to see him off.

Skywalker is the one who bumps into her, and his eyes light up with recognition when she looks at him.

"Excuse me, Commander Skywalker," she says, refusing to appear in the least bit starstruck like many of the other officers.

"Lieutenant Erso!" he says in surprise, mouth breaking into a wide smile. "I've heard so much about you. Nice to meet you in person." His grin turns sheepish. "Sorry I bumped into you, though."

"It's fine," she says, feeling like she's speaking to a dream. This is the man who made her father's sacrifice worthwhile. Who finished HER mission. "I've heard about you too. Bit hard not to."

He shies at that, and she realizes he's even younger than she is. Another untarnished soul dragged into war. "I'm not all that interesting or special when you think about it," he admits. "Just a farmboy who's got a lot of luck."

"Well, your luck made what my team went through mean something," Jyn says, and realizes that she truly does mean it. "So thank you." Luke sobers, nodding seriously.

"Thank _you_ ," he says, genuine and earnest, and Jyn thinks that he might very well be the hero the galaxy needs.

She glimpses the lightsaber hanging on his belt, shining and beautiful, and thinks Chirrut would have liked to hear the hum of its blade very much.

* * *

She remembers the flight to Scarif, standing behind Cassian in the cockpit before K2SO excused himself because "there is a 72% chance of unnecessarily poignant language." He had turned the chair around as she sat in the pilot's seat, and asked her what her favorite color was.

"What?" she had questioned, almost laughing. His face remained serious.

"I'd like to know you, Jyn Erso," he said softly. "In case our mission-"

"We're going to live," Jyn interjected, reaching to put her hand over his and looking him straight in the eyes. "I'll tell you after."

He had looked at her with an odd sort of smile before removing his hand from under hers and covering hers himself. "Mine's yellow."

It's silly, really, Jyn muses as she lounges in their transport on the way to Force knows where, to be so lost in memories with so much else going on. Cassian dozes next to her, head resting on her shoulder. Across from her, Bodhi tinkers with a small piece of machinery.

Cassian lets out a soft snore, and Jyn cant help but smile at how cute (a word she never thought she'd use) a sound it is. She catches Bodhi's eye, and the pilot just shakes his head, a knowing smirk on his lips.

"Cassian," she whispers softly, nudging him. He stirs, but his head stays on her shoulder. "My favorite color is green." Cassian smiles groggily, sitting up fully.

"I like green too," he says sleepily, taking her hand in his as if it's instinct. Which, at this point, it almost is.

"I thought you liked yellow," Jyn says, puzzled. Cassian just stares at her.

"Your eyes are green," he says casually.

She doesn't let his hand go until they dock.

* * *

The concept of time never really meant much to Jyn. Days would bleed into weeks, and weeks into months, and months into years. Hours of misery amounting to nothing worthwhile.

But time, she has learned, is often very short in supply. She first realized this on Scarif, standing on a beach with a man she feels she could very well love if given just a few more years.

So, she decides to take her time.

A year has passed since Scarif. Since the Death Star, and they've only been planetside for a few days at a time, to refuel and buy food.

Cassian hovers around her on their small shuttle, always keeping a hand on her arm or her back or her shoulder. She could tell him to leave her be, but his presence is comforting.

"Do you have any other friends?" she asks as they nibble at their rations in the starboard observation deck. "Other than me. Your best friend, clearly." Cassian chuckles softly.

"I was always on missions. I know almost every pilot and soldier; I recruited half of them. But I've never been one for friends." He gives her an easy smile. "But now there's you."

He's tried bringing up Eadu, tried to talk the mission over. But against her will, she'd forgiven him the moment she thought he was dead on Scarif. She doesn't like to think about Eadu. It's like a hazy nightmare, and she wants to keep it tucked away with the rest of her dark thoughts.

She doesn't think Cassian has quite forgiven himself for Eadu. She knows he doesn't regret what he did, he's admitted as much, but she knows he bears that burden with an unhealthy dose of self-loathing. She doesn't want that for him, hates the toll this awful war has taken on them all.

Without the shadows of a covert mission or impending superweapon over them, she finds Cassian very easy to get to know. He's quiet, yes, but sweet and observant. The rest of the Alliance pilots on their freighter grow to respect him, asking him for advice before their missions.

Home, Jyn muses, could very well be wherever he is.

* * *

 Two years after Scarif, Jyn receives a personal transmission from General Dodonna, asking her and Cassian to join him and a small team in building the Alliance a new base on a planet called Hoth.

* * *

She remembers always being drawn to Cassian, despite not trusting him farther than she could throw him. He was such an interesting contradiction: strict morality and a kind face paired with hands unafraid of cold-blooded murder.

"Does he have the face of a killer?" Chirrut had asked, what seems like a lifetime ago.

He has a soul, something which makes war very complicated sometimes. She first saw it when he revealed that he had every chance to kill her father. She saw it again when he clutched her to him on Scarif, looking for wounds on her despite his own injury.

She doesn't know when her fascination turned to trust, probably somewhere between "You're in shock" and "Welcome home." But she knows that she does trust him implicitly, more than anyone before. Their experience on Scarif was just that: theirs. No one else understands. No one else cares to.

She and Cassian bunk together on Hoth. And as much as she really fucking hates Hoth (as in…she _really_ fucking hates it), it's a comforting thing to know that she has him to come back to.

Scouting patrols are boring, which suits her just fine. She does stumble upon a wampa once, which earns her a very stern lecture on caution from Cassian, but the dull routine of scouting and building is a welcome change from her first days with the Alliance.

Cassian, she realized long ago, is a total flirt. It's a pleasant realization to come to after the awful life she's led so far. Now that he's healed and surrounded by people he trusts, she sees why he's so popular among the troops. He's charming and witty and perceptive as all hell.

In the daytime, at least. At night, he can be very quiet, thoughts racing as he lies in the bed they share, staring at the ceiling. At first, he tried to keep his brave face on when they were together, but it took two nights before she woke him from a nightmare and he admitted to her that he was not okay, even after all this time.

But the charm doesn't go away, even when he's lost in thought, she muses as she leans against the doorway, watching him polish his goggles.

"I don't like this planet," she comments. He glances at her, eyebrow raised.

"Oh?"

"It's cold. Even inside. I see my breath inside."

Cassian chuckles, scooting aside and patting the spot on their cot next to him. Jyn obliges him, sitting next to him, and he wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her into his side. He's warm.

"There's good things about this place," he muses as she rests her head on his shoulder. "I like the company."

"Smooth talker."

"It's my job," he quips. Jyn smiles, closing her eyes and sinking deeper into him. Cassian presses a gentle kiss into her hair, a comforting gesture. "How are you?"

"Cold," Jyn mutters. Cassian grins.

"Still? Guess I'm not doing my job."

"Move and you will _wish_ the Death Star shot you down," Jyn growls. Cassian stills slightly, and she scolds herself. "Shit." She shuffles to move out of his arms but his grip tightens.

"I'm okay," he whispers. "We're okay." Jyn relaxes into him again, and he shifts back, leaning them against the wall. "I still want to know about your day."

"Boring. I went to scout the Western ridge. No Wampas, just a lot of snow." Jyn sighs heavily. "I miss Yavin."

Cassian huffs a laugh. "You shouldn't be going on scouting missions with that ankle of yours."

"Says the man who insisted on helping repair the speeders with a gaping hole in his side."

Cassian blinks. "We're low on bacta."

"Mmhmm."

"And that shot was two years ago," he adds.

"But we're low on bacta," Jyn says all too innocently.

" _Jyn_."

* * *

The cold, Jyn soon realizes, can bring out the worst in people.

She's walking the cold, half-built corridors with a datapad for Dodonna in hand when she suddenly finds herself pressed against the wall by insistent hands. Strange lips hover dangerously close to hers. She quickly identifies Ensign Cade, one of their newer Corellian recruits.

"You look cold," Kade murmurs, voice oozing with what he passes as charm. "I can warm ya up, if you want."

"Get off me," Jyn growls. Kade obliges, eyes angry.

"Sorry, Lieutanant. I assumed you'd be tired of the skinny Captain by now," he sneers.

"At least he knows how to use his hands," Jyn snipes back, dimly aware in the back of her mind that she has no idea how he uses his hands. "Now make yourself scarce before I report you for harassing a superior officer."

"Yes ma'am," Kade says, grimacing and backing away.

Jyn reports him anyways. The Princess reams him out in front of his entire squadron, a beautiful sight to see. General Nadeen asks Jyn if she wants Kade removed. No, she replies, but the General says he'll have officers keep an eye on him regardless.

Cassian comes back to their room late that night, and when he does his hands are bruised. Jyn eyes them curiously from her perch on the edge of their bed.

"You okay?" she asks cautiously.

"I feel like I should be asking _you_ that," Cassian mumbles, kneeling in front of her between her legs, his hands coming to rest on her waist. "You good?" Jyn nods.

"I've had worse days," she says softly. "What happened to your hands?"

"Repairs went a little south," he says dismissively. "Did he touch you?"

"Yes," Jyn confirms, "But I got him off before he could do anything." Cassian's lips press into a grim line.

"I wish I was there."

"I can handle myself, Cassian."

"Well of course you can, but still. I would have broken his arms." Jyn chuckles fondly, reaching out and tilting Cassian's head up to look at her.

"I'm very glad to be alive with you," she says, almost a whisper. Cassian looks at her like she is a supernova, and she holds his gaze.

He doesn't kiss her, not then, but that night, he holds her ever so closer and presses kisses into her hair.

The next morning, Jyn spots Kade in the in-progress medbay with two black eyes, and when she looks at Cassian with a raised eyebrow, he simply shrugs.

* * *

The Alliance arrives over a year after she and Cassian do. Echo Base is gorgeous, if Jyn does say so herself, and she has almost grown accustomed to the bitter cold. Almost.

She feels immense pride seeing High Command and everyone else roaming the halls she helped build. It feels good to create something instead of destroy.

Jyn sits alone in the mess hall, mulling over some recon on recent Imperial movements. The Empire's searches seem to individualized to be for the entire Alliance; instead, she thinks, they are after an individual. Darth Vader's own individual forces are in this.

"Tell whoever built this place that my quarters are a bit drafty," Captain Solo snaps as he struts into the hall, the Princess at his heels. Wedge, sitting across from her, shoots her an amused glance. Everyone on Echo Base knows this song and dance.

"Good to know who the _real_ princess is around here!" Leia snaps, sitting down next to Commander Skywalker.

"You know you love it!" Solo calls over his shoulder, grabbing a portion and sitting right next to her. Cassian walks in, eyeing them curiously before sitting next to Jyn.

"They started this fight in Intelligence HQ," he murmurs. "I thought it would die out in the halls."

Jyn knows better. She and Leia became friends after the Death Star. They both knew the pain of loss very well. 

They also both happen to be very, very stubborn. So no, Leia Organa will not simply let a fight die out.

"Maybe your room's a bit drafty too, Your Worship. That would explain why you can't seem to show any human emotion."

"Oh, I'm showing emotion _now!_ "

Jyn snorts. "I think I'm going to finish this report in our room," she says. "Don't want to be caught in the crossfire."

Cassian glances at Han and Leia. "They're always fighting," he muses.

"Solo likes her," Jyn says, standing. "I can tell."

"Can you?"

"He's always around her. You don't spend that much time with someone unless you like them." Cassian blinks, his cheeks reddening, and she realizes her words could apply to more people than Han and Leia. "So, want to join me?"

Wedge, who's been akin to this entire exchange, stands himself. "You two are adorable," he deadpans before walking off, shaking his head.

Cassian looks at Jyn. "Jyn, I-"

"Andor. We need you and Erso in Intelligence HQ immediately." Cassian's lips purse, and he picks his comlink off his belt.

"On our way," he says shortly. "Talk later?"

"We're talking now," Jyn says with a soft smile.

Cassian fixes her with one of her favorite looks: fond exasperation. "We'll talk later," he repeats. "But for now, we have a job to do." He starts off down the hall, towards HQ, and Jyn follows.

"Any idea what they want?" she asks. Cassian shrugs, rounding a corner.

General Cracken is waiting for them when they arrive, tense eyes focused on a small information screen.

"Darth Vader is sending probes in this sector soon. I need you to analyze their exploration patterns. And if they come here, I need you to determine where we need to focus our scanners."

"That's vague," Jyn says blandly, accepting the datapads from Cracken. Cassian smirks at her bluntness and Cracken, used to her sharp edges at this point, doesn't dignify her snark with a response.

* * *

When the Empire comes again, she screams.

She locks herself into a small closet in the port cargo hold of their evacuation vessel and screams.

She built a base, imperfect and cold as hell but still a home to the Alliance. She built it from snowdrifts and waste, and the Empire destroyed it like it was nothing.

Cassian finds her, crouching down and taking her in his arms like he did on Scarif. He whispers words of comfort in her ear, holding her so tightly it almost hurts. She curls into him, clinging to his shirt until her knuckles go white with stress.

"We'll make them pay," Cassian vows. "We'll make them pay."

* * *

Cassian's hands are softer than most. Years of espionage and avoiding fights if he could have made them that way.

Jyn has become quite acquainted with his hands over the years. Gentle brushes on her cheek, a firm grip on her shoulder, fingers gripping hers as they walk through passages together.

She clings to his hand when Princess Leia stumbles aboard their transport, carrying a maimed Luke Skywalker on her shoulders with tear streaks running down her face.

"Vader," is all Leia whispers as Jyn rushes to her side, helping support Luke as Cassian calls for a medic.

"Where's Solo?" he asks, and Leia's face crumbles.

Later, as med droids work on a prosthetic for Luke, Leia sits with Jyn in silence, looking out at the galaxy through the starboard observatory.

"Things were looking better," Leia whispers. "Not good, but better."

"You'll find him," Jyn says, taking Leia's hand and squeezing it gently. Leia nods, eyes distant.

"I wasted so much time," she says, "We both did. We're stubborn, you know."

"Oh, I know. As does everyone who was on Hoth."

Leia laughs, a short one but a laugh nonetheless. "We kissed on the Falcon. It was just us and Chewie, it felt as close to home as I'd felt in years."

Cassian, standing a ways away from them, shoots Jyn a shocked look.

"I had no idea," Jyn lies. Leia chuckles without humor.

"Yeah, neither did I. And now it might be too late."

"No," Jyn says firmly, forcing Leia to look at her. "You of all people should know that it's never too late. You have the entire Alliance at your back. We'll find Han and bring him home. Got it?"

Something passes over Leia's face, a cold armor of determination and strength that Jyn has never truly understood. "Jabba has no idea what's coming for him." Jyn's lips curl into a smirk.

"That's better." Leia smiles, leaning closer to Jyn.

"Jyn, can I be serious with you for a moment?"

"Of course." Leia' voice lowers, and she leans even closer.

"You and Cassian." Jyn blinks.

"What about us?"

"Do not wait until it's too late." 

* * *

That night, Jyn watches Cassian as he changes from his flightsuit in their dimly lit room. She reclines on their bed, staring at him with a newfound sense of curiosity.

They never talked about the kiss, she realizes, almost in surprise. It happened in the heat of the moment. He might not even remember it, he was almost unconscious at that point.

They're in a strange holding pattern. They spend nearly every moment together, share a room and a bad, hold hands, hold each other at night…but nothing beyond that. She knows he's holding back, because she is too. Eventually crossing that line has always seemed like an inevitability.

But it's been three years. She doesn't want him eventually.

She wants him now.

"Cassian?" she asks, eyes lingering as he removes his shirt and grabs a softer one. He turns and glances at her. "Do you ever think about our kiss?" Cassian stills, holding his shirt in his hands, not looking at her.

"Yes," he says simply, softly. After a long moment of lingering silence he turns around. Jyn nods slowly.

"Me too."

It's harder than she thought, admitting to him how she feels. She knows that he knows, but saying it out loud makes everything so real. Consequences included.

Slowly, he approaches their bed, sitting down on the end and turning to face him. "Why do you ask?" he inquires gently.

"I was remembering," Jyn murmurs. "You asked me why, and I promised to tell you if you lived. But I never did."

Cassian nods. "I figured you would tell me when you were ready."

"I'm ready now." She sits up fully, scooting closer. "Can I tell you?"

"Yes," Cassian whispers, barely audible.

Saying nothing else, Jyn leans in and gently captures his lips with hers, a hand coming up to cup his jaw and the other tangling in his soft hair. He sighs into her mouth before snaking his arms around her torso, pulling her into his lap.

"Jyn," he murmurs against her lips. They separate, and he rests his forehead against hers. They sit still, breathing each other in for a long moment before finally, Jyn leans in again, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw.

"Because I wanted to."

"Hm?"

"I kissed you because I wanted to." Cassian chuckles lightly, resting his palm on her cheek and brushing a stray lock of hair out of her eye with his thumb.

"I love you too," he says.

This time, her kiss knocks him on his back.

* * *

"Jyn, Cassian, the Princess wants to see if OH KRIFF, YOU'RE NAKED."

Their door zips shut again, and a drowsy Jyn says, "Well, Bodhi knows."

* * *

The coded message wakes her from her sleep. A decimated Bothan squadron says they must meet with Alliance Intelligence as soon as possible.

Jyn gently nudges Cassian, asleep next to her, awake. "It's too early," he mutters, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. "What's up?"

"Coded message from a Bothan squadron near Bakura. They want to meet us," Jyn replies. This wakes Cassian up fully. He sits up, pulling her closer and into his lap.

"What do they have?" he asks, pressing a kiss into her shoulder. Jyn leans against him.

"Too sensitive to transmit. In-person pickup." Cassian frowns.

"That's not a lot of information," he says, wrapping his arms around her waist. "What else does it say?"

"Just one word," Jyn whispers, "Hope."

"I regret ever telling you that," Cassian mumbles. Jyn smiles, turning to accept a brief kiss. "I'll pack our things. Alert Cracken."

* * *

"I don't remember the last time I was on a city world," Jyn muses as she and Cassian slink through the lower wards and dip in and out of the shadows.

"I do," Cassian says darkly. Jyn doesn't ask for him to explain.

They weave through the people, keeping their hoods tightly covering their faces, shielding them from view. Cassian keeps close to her, nearly pressed against her back at all times while his hand loosely grasps her arm, keeping her close.

"Not much farther," Jyn says, pulling Cassian into a tight alleyway as a small squadron of Stormtroopers passes them. She relaxes into him as he presses her protectively against the alley wall.

"We're clear," he murmurs, taking her hand in his and pulling her along.

The Bothan left her a message at the spaceport, telling them to meet him in a crowded café. But Imperial presence looms large on Bakura, and Jyn doesn't like the feeling of the mission in the slightest.

"I have a bad feeling about this," she hisses to Cassian as they approach the café. Cassian nods grimly, and the two weave through the café until Jyn spots a ragged-looking Bothan sitting at a small table deep in the shadows. "Stay here," Jyn says, pulling Cassian to an empty table. "Keep your eyes open."

"Stay safe," Cassian says, hand squeezing hers quickly before she continues forward, sitting down across from the Bothan.

"Your partner. The human," the Bothan says in lieu of greeting. "Does he have a comlink?" Jyn nods. "Tell him to double back to the Spaceport. Take a route around the city. You have three Imperial agents tailing you."

"Catch that?" Jyn asks, moving her activated comlink closer to her ear.

" _On the move_ ," comes Cassian's voice.

"What's going on here?" Jyn asks intently.

"We're a diversion," the Bothan says grimly. "I'm going to give you this drive. Then, I'm going to shoot the agent sitting four tables away from us, failing to read my lips. They're going to go after me, and you're going to run. Drop the plans, and hide. Come out when the coast is clear, and your partner will have the plans in a cruiser on pad four. Do you understand?"

"What about you?"

"My time is limited as it is." The Bothan shifts his hand, revealing a deep, bloody blaster wound in his side. "My team is dead. My partner and I are all that is left. The dream is in your hands now."

Jyn lets out a ragged breath. "I am so sorry."

The Bothan almost smiles. "It was an honor to meet you, Jyn Erso. Duck." Immediately, Jyn ducks down, rolling behind the table, and the Bothan fires a shot at a man behind her. He crumples to the ground, dead.

The Bothan hands her the drive, and Jyn spots two figures running towards her before she bolts.

She runs, hearing the sound of Stormtroopers pursuing her, and ducks into an alleyway. The wall is heavily damaged, she notes. Perfect. She drops the plans and jumps, finding a foothold. She continues to climb until the hauls herself onto the roof, and ducks down, crawling to the other side of the building.

Crouched near the roof's edge, she listens. Her comlink is dead, a cautionary measure on Cassian's end no doubt. The Stormtroopers have scattered to search for her. She hears a Stormtrooper enter the building.

I have thirty seconds to get off this roof.

Taking a deep breath, Jyn stands, taking several paces back. She runs and jumps, praying she has enough momentum, and almost cries in relief when she slams shoulder-first onto the roof of the next building. She rolls through, and peers over the edge of the building. She scales the building, kicking through a window and inside.

The room is dark, stuffy, and clearly long-abandoned. It would be a good place to bunker down and hide, but Cassian is out there somewhere and she needs more distance between her and the café.

She sneaks out of the building, removing her headscarf and snatching one from a local market, putting her own in its place. It's not ideal, but it's good enough to get her a few blocks away untailed.

She walks as quickly as she can without looking out of place, the white scarf wrapped around every part of her face save her eyes. She almost screams when she's grabbed by the elbow and hauled into an abandoned building. She's pressed against the wall when she realizes who has her.

Her captor gently tugs down her head scarf and exposes her face, calloused hands gently caressing her cheek.

"Cassian," she whispers, and he hauls her in for a harsh kiss, teeth scraping against hers as he desperately holds her as closely as possible. His hands are everywhere, checking for wounds or just making sure he's got her. She clings to him, so shocked but relieved to have him here.

"You're supposed to be at the ship," she says breathlessly when they finally break for air.

"Our meeting was compromised. I had to grab the plans and run."

"And the Bothan?"

Cassian grimaces. "Beruk. Dead."

"Shit," Jyn hisses, letting her head fall against his chest. He holds her, heaving a sigh. "I'm being tailed," she says reluctantly, "We need to move."

Cassian lets her go, pulling her scarf back up around her head with undisguised tenderness. "We should go back to our original shuttle. They'll have some troops guarding it, but most will be out searching."

Jyn's hand wanders to her holstered blaster and she smirks. "Sounds like a fight." Cassian grins back, and as he turns away she adds, "I'm glad you're okay."

"Jyn?"

"Yes?"

"The data." He takes a deep breath. "Beruk said the information was plans."

Jyn's blood runs cold. "For what?"

"A second Death Star."

* * *

Jyn buillt a small memorial to Rogue One, a simple repurposed helmet with the names of the dead carefully painted onto it. She carries it with her wherever she can, keeping it on bedside tables in her and Cassian's bunker. A reminder of those who sacrificed everything so that the Alliance could live to the next fight, the next demand for sacrifice.

Looking at the Death Star plans as she and Cassian travel through hyperspace, Jyn feels…disconnected. From her body, from this cold reality that Baze, Chirrut, Cassian's friends, even K2SO, died for nothing. The plans fill up the entire room, cold green projected light dimly illuminating her face.

Cassian watches her, though the subtle furrow of his brow gives away his unease.

Her hands clench into fists so tight she knows her knuckles are going white. Slow, blinding fury wells up inside her and she lashes out, driving her fist into the cold metal wall. "Fuck," she hisses, feeling blood start to trickle down her fingers. She zeros in on the pain, lets it ground her.

Cassian is at her side in an instant, gingerly taking her hands in his. "I'm sorry," he says quietly as he reaches for the ship's first aid kit.

"Not your fault," Jyn replies, squeezing her eyes shut. " _Fuck_."

Cassian pulls out a strip of cloth, applying medi-gel to her scraped knuckles.

"Don't do that again," he murmurs, firm and unyielding. Jyn winces as the disinfectant begins to work. "We're not dead yet." Jyn laughs without humor.

"Might as well be."

Cassian shoots her a sideways glance, stepping back. "You sound like the Council before Scarif."

"Shut up." She hates that he's right, hates that this war has turned her into a jaded coward like the Council. The Council, whose support in the attack could have spared the lives of so many rebel soldiers who truly understood the meaning of rebellion. Suddenly, the ship seems suffocating. "Kriff, I never even learned the Bothan's name. He died for me and I never bothered to ask."

"You had a mission," Cassian says calmly.

"Fuck the mission!" Jyn screams, jumping up and rounding on him, eyes wild. "When did I become this, Cassian? I'm cold and calculating, so focused on information that I let strangers die for me? When did I become like-"

"Me?" Cassian finishes challengingly, striding back towards her. "Cold, heartless, killing Cassian?"

Jyn opens her mouth to tell him no, of course not him, he's good and kind…but nothing comes out. Cassian nods slowly, chuckling darkly.

"Good to know," he mutters, stalking away and back to the cockpit.

Jyn crumples to the ground, her hands still stinging. The Death Star still glows green around her. Her and Cassian's fight brought her right to the projection's reactor. Manifests and names scroll through, appearing and disappearing at the fringe of the projection.

One requisition order catches Jyn's eye. An order for luxury food shipments. Jyn cocks her head to the side, puzzled, and stands, crossing the room to where the requisition orders are projected.

The Empire doesn't splurge on rations, she muses.

She continues flipping through documents, finding more and more irregularities, and then almost staggers back. A coded message sent to an Admiral, telling him and his crew to prepare to be overseen by not only Darth Vader…

But the Emperor himself.

"Gods," she exhales. "Cassian!" she calls before she can remember what just happened between them. He comes running. "It's the Emperor," she says, a wicked smile lighting up her face. "We can kill him."

In a twisted way, Cassian's shock reminds her an awful lot of hope.

* * *

They don't talk for the rest of the journey back to the Fleet, but Cassian stays in the hold with her, examining the Death Star plans with an expert's eye. His fingers type notes into his datapad as he soaks in the information in the efficient, almost robotic way that he does.

Jyn wants to apologize, but he's clearly uninterested in hearing her, so they remain in a tense holding pattern tempered by a sharp pang of hope.

Mon Mothma looks like she will faint when they give her the plans. Cassian takes the debriefing, and Jyn goes to their quarters alone. The helmet sits right where she left it, on the edge of their bed. She strolls to the bed, sitting down on the edge and setting the helmet in her lap.

She's still examining it, reading through every single name, when Cassian returns. He enters in silence, walking straight to their dresser and pulling out a fresh shirt. He slips out of his old one, discarding it onto their chair.

"I don't think you're cold," she says finally. There's a long, suffering silence, and Cassian, still shirtless, finally says:

"I'm a bit cold now." Jyn chokes out a laugh, and Cassian approaches her, kneeling down in front of her.

"I love you," she says, "And I'm sorry."

"I love you too," Cassian says, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "They want us in the fight."

Jyn's mouth turns up into a smile. "Just try and keep me out of it."

* * *

Cassian is absolutely taken with the Ewoks, which amuses Jyn to no end. As the Alliance soldiers on the ground gather around various fires, talking and drinking as if the battle that could very well determine the fate of the galaxy wasn't the next day, Jyn remembers her final night before Scarif. She had stayed with Cassian, sneaking into his room and curling into his side. They hadn't kissed, hadn't had sex, but it had been the most intimate night of her life up until that point. He had held her to him , hands rubbing soothing patterns on her back.

"Jyn," he had whispered. "I wish…" He had trailed off, unsure of what he wanted. She had known. They had been living on limited time.

She and Cassian sit together inside one of the larger huts, listening to C-3PO tell the Ewoks about Skywalker, about Leia, about Han. She doesn't understand the language, but the story rings clear.

Cassian's arm is slung casually over her shoulders, and she rests her head on his chest, almost but not quite dozing.

"What do you want?" Cassian asks quietly. Jyn opens her eyes drowsily, angling her head to look up at him.

"Hm?"

"After. What do you want for after this is all over?" Jyn frowns. She's never given much thought to after. The very idea of an "after" always seemed very abstract and far away. She says as much, and Cassian snorts.

"I don't know if I could settle down," she adds, an afterthought. "If we win this, I think I would want to work out of a base. No crazy missions, but still helping. Analyzing things."

"A small house," Cassian adds.

Jyn turns to face him fully, a teasing smile on her face. "For both of us?"

"Well, yes."

"Awfully presumptuous of you." Cassian shrugs mildly, and Jyn's grin widens. "A small house," she echoes, nodding.

Leia and Han both duck into the hut together. Leia's face is ghastly white, and her mind is clearly miles away. Jyn catches her eye and raises a questioning eyebrow. Leia rises, saying something quietly to Han before walking over to her and Cassian.

"Do you have drinks?" the Princess asks tiredly. Cassian blanches, but Jyn reaches around him, picking up two shot glasses and handing Leia one. She picks up a bottle of Asarian Ale and pours them both a shot.

"You okay?" Jyn asks. Leia blinks.

"To daddy issues," she toasts bluntly, downing her shot, handing the glass back to Jyn and walking away. 

* * *

The air of D'Quar is clear and fresh. Even in the crowded landing pad, with the scent of fuel mingling with the smell of wet grass, it smells natural. Like home.

Jyn huffs as she helps a few of the younger ensigns fuel the Black One. Poe wouldn't tell her what his mission is, but, she thinks as she watches her husband talk with the scrappy pilot, maybe he'll tell Cassian. His parents knew him, after all.

Something cold and metal bumps up against her calf and she looks down to see Poe's pet droid at her feet.

"What do you want?" she asks.

Its little head looks up, at the ship.

"Oh, no. I'm not lifting you in there." Jyn snorts. "I'm old now."

The droid beeps rapidly. Jyn puts her hands on her hips.

"Oh, it's automated? Then what do you want me to do?"

A short trill of whistles.

"I am not oiling it for you, brat."

She turns at the sound of footsteps and smiles when she sees Cassian and Poe approaching. She appraises the young pilot with humor in her eyes. "Nice jacket, Dameron. I'd say you're almost as attractive as your father."

"Love you too," Cassian mutters, but he grins when Jyn shoots him a wink.

"Thanks for the help," Poe says gratefully. "And Jyn, for a spy, your husband here isn't very good at trying to fish my mission out of me."

Jyn shrugs. "He's retired." Poe rolls his eyes with a smirk and climbs into Black One. "May the Force be with you," she calls. From his seat, he salutes.

Jyn backs away, grasping Cassian's hand in hers. "I thought we'd be out of this fight thirty years ago," she admits as Dameron takes to the skies. Cassian looks down at her.

"Any regrets?" he asks.

Jyn squeezes his aged hand in hers. "None."


End file.
